Just another mustache Monday…

Attempt number three, to grow a mustache, has been counted a failure.  First attempt, back in 1998, was counted a loss due to an appalling amount of source material.  I was lucky to be able to produce something beyond the most pitiful of chin-pubes.

Attempt the second, last year, came more as an ironic protest against the draconian facial hair rules at my work.  As I reached the zenith of disillusionment, I decided to strike back by not shaving.  Again,result for nekkid face.

This time, just boredom, really.  And after a day of wearing a semi-transparent soup strainer, I gave up again.  Partly, because I do resemble someone who would drive around wearing aviator sunglasses, asking kids if they want to see the kitties I have in the back of the van.  Also, the hot wife won’t kiss me if I have a ‘stache, so that kinda puts paid to that.  To keep this brief, but entertaining, appending this post is a list of the totality of humanity allowed to wear a mustache.  On anyone but these folks, it should be cause for a taser-and-nair posse.

The end.  Anyone else, up to and including my father-in-law, just looks either untrustworthy or all-out evil in a mustache.  Examples?  Hitler, Stalin, Snidely Whiplash, John Oates, even Sean Connery.

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~ by thecox on May 13, 2008.

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